Time Flies Fast

 The importance of time has been iterated over and over again since day one but I don't know how I missed to feel that. I always felt that there is time and so many things have been procrastinated. I rarely made plans in my life that almost every time, my day goes by with the flow of what life has to offer me. I wanted to study so hard and get a high percentage during my lower school days but when the result day came, I was just happy to get the average percentage because I have made it through to my middle school. I thought I could do better in my middle school days and I can finally get good grades. I procrastinated to study harder and when the exam was near I prayed to at least make it through to high school, science, arts or commerce, but I have to make it to high school. Prayers answered, wishes fulfilled and I qualified for high school. Initially I wanted to take science, not because I am very passionate about learning science, but just to look intelligent and to take pride in saying Doctor as an ambition. When I couldn't make it to science, I at least wanted to take commerce because I don't know how and where but I heard the art stream is the lowest. 

I have never heard of commerce before and I was really bad at math but I am the one who made the choice because I don't have any predecessor who advised me to do this or that. With the commerce stream, I have to aim for a business college and I really thought of pulling my socks up to get into that college. I studied a little harder than before, I aimed for a better version of myself but I couldn't get into that college, unfortunately. My aim is not crushed because I never had one as to what I want to do and what I want to learn. I was lucky and I was grateful that I got to go to college. I was excited for college and college happened. It was for four years and I didn't think much before I joined the college and throughout the college as well. So many things happened during college days and when I look back, I wanted to travel back because I can live it a lot more differently. I wanted to do this, I wanted to do that and in between, I graduated. Nothing is worth noting here but the time has passed just like that. 

I was a bit hesitant about life after graduation but I couldn't escape it. I thought of studying really hard and slaying the Royal Civil Service Exam because I am too noob to be starting my own business or going abroad. My thought of studying hard remained in my thoughts and when the result was out, I shivered, everything around me stopped for a second. I was too shy and too sad to share the news with my family. However, I cannot do anything about it other than to move with the flow. There was a last hope in my heart that maybe i will get through as a civil servant because at least i hoped that some people who got through the exam might have left abroad or have other plans. True to my hope and my prayers once again answered by God and I got through as a civil servant. So many things happened and I gave birth to my tt just after being a few months in the job. I wanted to make the best use of my 6 months maternity time but just like that and without doing nothing, 6 months maternity leave is over. I became more grateful than before, I was a little happier than before and I found a reason to be the best in life, all because of my tt. 

On many occasions, I want to do better, I want to learn this and that, I want to make myself the best but at the end of the day, I never felt proud of myself for doing the things I planned. There are so many external factors to distract me that all I ever did was lie down with my phone. External factors are indeed so powerful that it consumes all my energy. For my tt, I wanted to be the BEST, but  I failed so many times. To live a more fulfilling life and to be the best mom for my son, I am willing to try harder. Time flies by so fast and if we are not careful, time will use us instead of us using the time to live our life. If i can do it in life, so can you so cheers to the change and live your life just like I wanted to live mine.