Promise Again for the next 21 Days

 

I have missed so many good opportunities in my life because I was not decisive enough and I was not responsible enough to make opportunities happen in my life. For every single opportunity that I missed in life, I regretted a lot inside, it's just that I have got nobody to share my resentments with. When I say opportunities, it is not always about something that is about growing myself, it includes some fun time with friends, a picnic or an entertainment moment which I really wished I could attend and have the opportunity to attend but couldn't attend.  

For so many events, I always thought there was more than enough time and even before i could believe, it would be just a few weeks, then a few days and then finally a few hours until the event and it eventually happened. When I cannot do so many things on my to do list now, I always planned to do it the next time and my next time never came. I will do this from tomorrow, I will not do that from tomorrow and my procrastination is chronic, I have missed many moments and now I realize that time sure flies so fast. In the next 2 months, my son will be a year old and even now I couldn't do the things which I said to myself that I will do since he was born last year. 

I try so hard to finish everything so that i can go to bed early, I make lots of things that I will start doing from the next day and even before I realize the time ticks midnight and my eyes will be wide awake. I will eventually have to gulp down all the plans for the next day, watch a few more episodes of the short drama and by the time I sleep it will be 3 to 4 am in the morning. Sometimes, I watch drama till 7 am and after 7, I prepare myself for the office. I pretty much know how unhealthy it is but most of the time, I just cannot help it. In every book I read, every podcast I listened to, every leadership discussion I watched, they all said to rise up before anyone else to start the day. Every single night before I go to sleep, I wish to wake up by 5 am and feel so ready to start the day but every single time I wake up early, I am either dizzy or tired and every nerve in me yearns for a little rest.

When I was helping my nephew with his homework, I knew then that I can never be a  teacher because I lose my temper every single time with my nephew when he cannot catch up fast. Then on, I was worried about my own children if I happened to have one myself. Time flew by and I became a mom last year. I wanted to be the best of myself to my son and my nieces and nephews. I wanted to lead by example, I wanted to be their role model, I wanted to do so many things that they could learn to be a better person everyday and I wanted to be the best daughter to my parents, best sibling, best aunt and a best mother but it is almost a year since I became a mom and I see no change in myself. Instead I am depending way too much on my sister, my brother and on my phone to live a little peaceful life. I regret every single moment of the time I spent on the phone instead of my son. 

Ever since college, I wanted to have a perfect body figure, a figure which is confident enough for me to stand in front of other people. I want to diet, I want to try fasting, I want to do exercise and at last I did nothing and over the years, my weight increased. I wanted to have fair skin, the blemishes on my face that appeared when I was in college, I wanted to remove that for a long time but even now it never improved, rather it's getting darker and darker.  I wanted to read as many books as I could to become a better person but there are so many days in between where I am at my worst and didn't feel like doing anything but just to rest, escape the reality and wander in the utopia.  

Just a few months back, I promised to myself that I will update in my blog once every week and it's been almost a month since I posted something here. Again today, let me promise that I will post once every week and that let me follow the rules of making habits for the 21 days. I have recently completed reading the book ‘ who will cry if you die by Robin S Sharma’ and there he says that whatever habit we want to incur at least try to do it for 21 days so for the next 21 days, let me post my blog once every week, sleep a little earlier and rise early to start something new. 

In college, I stayed in the room alone and that is why, the last thing that I do before sleeping is praying and I pray in the morning as well but now that I have somebody to accompany me, I have lost touch of the prayers, I want to start doing that too and at least for 10 minutes to start with, let me begin meditating every morning for 10 minutes for the next 21 days. 

For the next 21 days, let me spend a little more time with my son, my beloved ones and let me invest a good amount of my time in reading. I hope that by the end of 21 days, I will be able to learn something good and I will be more happier than I was ever before, cheers!