Some Random Thoughts

 A chill ran down my spine. I don’t know what feeling it was, but my hand shivered, my heart beat a little faster, and my mood sank. Sometimes I overeat, and other times I lose all appetite. In the middle of the night, I lie wide awake even when my eyes beg for sleep. I want to talk endlessly, yet at the

same time I want to swallow everything inside, hide behind a smile, and wear a mask—because the world often feels so cruel.

I don’t know what people think about me, but I spend each night in self-introspection. I wish I never said that. I wish I never did that. I wish I never went there. And I wish I had said that, done that, gone there, avoided this or that. When the world goes silent, my mind becomes loud, tangled in wishes and what-ifs.

And yet, at the end of each day, I still hope to be a better person—better than I was yesterday. But my heart feels heavier with the weight of unspoken thoughts. Expression is not easy. It is more than just sharing words; it is about feelings, about being understood—and that is the hardest part.

Recently, I wonder if I am living with ADHD, or maybe it’s just anxiety. I often feel restless, unable to stay fully present in the moment. I escape the ordinary in search of happiness. The grass on the other side always looks greener; others always seem happier. And when life strikes hard, I can’t help but wish for the life I’ve always dreamed of.

I’ve never been the kind of person to chase money. For me, happiness matters more—not just for myself, but for everyone. Yet sometimes, I can’t ignore the truth: in this world, we are nothing without money.