Working, Trying and Tired Mom!

Lying on the bed, staring at the empty ceiling while the fan spun at its highest speed, thoughts came one after another. Beside me was someone sleeping so soundly and peacefully, and on that calm face, I saw eternity. On that calm face, I saw innocence and trust.

I grew up making grand plans and ended up doing a mediocre job, trusting that time would eventually put everything in its place. Somewhere between mistakes and blessings, I hold you tightly in my arms, wondering what I can do next to make you proud one day. My heart skips a beat when you smile, and it melts when you cutely call me "Ama." As I lie there, I feel overwhelmed with joy to have you in my life.

Living this ordinary life while carrying hopes and dreams of giving you an extraordinary one, life does not always feel smooth. The uncertainty of life is what scares me the most. What if life takes me away before you get to see the real world? Your existence has become one of my greatest reasons to keep going, and I am forever grateful to have you in my life.

I have never met anyone as understanding as you or anyone who loves me as much as you do in my almost three decades of existence. When I sit on my phone, trying to distract myself, you quietly lie beside me and slowly drift off to sleep without expecting anything. Then, when I pull you into my arms, you greet me with the warmest smile. At times, you do not seem like a toddler at all. How can you understand me so well when you are not even two years old?

You follow me around everywhere and have somehow accepted that I must leave for the office whenever I put on my kira each morning. The smile you give me as you wave goodbye, hoping to see me again soon, aches my heart every single day.

The way your eyes sparkle the moment you see me, just waiting for a hug before throwing one of your little tantrums, has completely captured my heart. You were, you are, and you will always be my greatest joy, my reason, my gratitude, and my everything.

Things do not always go smoothly. Sometimes, I lose my temper with you. Sometimes, I do not feel like myself. Sometimes, I want to be alone. Yet somehow, you give me the space I need and the warmth I seek. You are so innocent, yet so powerful in the way you light up my life.

Forever grateful, I will choose you over and over again, my dearest TT.