SHE

 SHE

Feeling a little sad, she lay down on her bed and started scrolling through her phone, switching from one social media app to another. Every app she opened seemed to contain people sharing the very feelings she was experiencing. For a moment, she was lost in their words.

She has always thought she was the only one going through a lot in life, but seeing all those stories made her realize that we are never alone in our struggles. There are people who have everything and still not content about their life, and there are people who remain content even when life treats them harshly. The point is, like many are saying, contentment should come from within that no external influences can permanently make us fulfilled. 

She always thought that life would get better with time but just like games are getting harder with every level, her life was just the same. Every day brought new twists and challenges. She often felt upset, believing that life was unfair to her. She didn't realize that there were people going through far worse. 

She never thought of people without legs when she couldn’t afford a new pair of shoes. She grieved over not getting good foods to eat everyday, unaware that some people go to sleep hungry, not knowing where their next meal will come from. She sometimes feels her life is so mediocre but she didn’t know there are people who never get to stand a foot in a class and who never get to live like a normal human being. 

At times, she tried to be grateful for every little thing in her life. Yet many times, gratitude was overshadowed by resentment, melancholy, and confusion. She knew she was more privileged than many others. She lived a life that was respected and admired by many, but somehow she still couldn't feel at peace with herself.

She often felt unheard. Yet sometimes she found herself in a song, sometimes on the pages of a book, and sometimes in a caption written by a complete stranger. Whenever she saw her life described beautifully by someone she had never met, she felt understood. She felt less alone. She felt normal. Most importantly, she felt human. Perhaps that is why she used her phone as if it were a reliable and trustworthy companion. She read as though she were searching for something. And whenever she found nothing, she returned to overthinking everything all over again.

She listened to music and felt every melody deeply. She appreciated artists for creating masterpieces capable of comforting someone they would never meet. She admired them for creating moments of calm, peace, and even a sense of utopia amidst chaos.

She always looked forward to books and music but deep inside, she is just figuring out a life. She was filling in the missing  puzzle pieces, searching for answers and still showing up everyday with a broad smile. A smile that made people think she was content, that she had a perfect life, that nothing could bother her, and that she had everything figured out.  What people didn't know was that she was still trying to understand where things went wrong. Why did they say that? Why did they do that? Why her. And when the world slept, she was often awake, staring into the darkness and asking herself one simple question, Why?

Nevertheless, she continued to trust time and she still believed that everything will eventually fall into place. She found happiness in the happiness of others. She celebrated people's victories and remained grateful for the blessings in her own life. After all, she was grateful simply to have been born human, to have experienced life in all its beauty and hardship, and to believe that one day, she would understand it all.

As you read this, perhaps you can find a little of yourself in her. If you do, know that whatever you are feeling, whatever you are thinking, and whatever is happening in your life is normal. These experiences are part of being human. They happen to everyone in different ways, and your time will come too.

I relate so much to her, and perhaps she relates just as much to me.

In the end, all we can do is trust the timing.